RDCAB 4
Rebirth on the Doors to the Civil Affairs Bureau
Chapter 4 The Wife Sees the In-Laws
Translator: Xefielle
Editor: Jessamy
***
They soon arrived in front of mother Xia's room. Xia Feng planned to knock, but he noticed Yu Dong's face became a little pale.
"Are you nervous?" Xia Feng asked her incredulously.
"Ugh!" Yu Dong turned to him, "Which daughter-in-law isn't nervous when meeting her mother-in-law for the first time."
"Other people I'd expect, but I really didn't think you'd be." Xia Feng couldn't help but smile as Yu Dong's face looked even worse, and turned to comfort her. "Rest assured, my parents are good people."
Yu Dong took a deep breath, as if determined, and indicated for Xia Feng to continue.
Xia Feng knocked the door and waited for a sound of affirmation from inside before pushing the door open.
"Dad!" Xia Feng greeted before looking at his mother who laid on the bed. "Mom, how are you feeling today?"
But his father and mother weren't paying the least bit of attention to him. Their eyes trained on the doorway.
Xia Feng was puzzled. He looked back and found out that Yu Dong didn't come inside. Amused, he walked back towards the door and pulled a hiding Yu Dong inside. He finally introduced her to his parents.
"Mom, dad, this is Yu Dong!"
"Yu Dong?" Mother Xia, who secretly glanced at Yu Dong became confused and asked, "What about An An? I thought she was seeing us today."
Father Xia's face also showed confusion.
Xia Feng suddenly didn't know what to say, and as he was furiously thinking of a way to explain, Yu Dong suddenly spoke.
Yu Dong held the flowers she had bought, still looked a little nervous as she blushed and softly whispered: "Uncle and auntie you're not mistaken. I'm Yu Dong, but also An An."
"Eh? You're An An?" Father Xia was happy when he heard his son had a girlfriend for more than three years, but never actually met her.
"These flowers are for you, I wish you a speedy recovery!" Yu Dong handed over the flowers.
When mother Xia first saw Yu Dong, she felt that the girl looked clever and also very graceful. Her eyes were pure, the first impression was good. She suddenly had a broad smile as she replied: "Such beautiful flowers! Quick someone put these in a vase."
However both parents didn't move, so Xia Feng took the initiative and collected the flowers from his mother's hands. "I'll do it."
As soon as Xia Feng left, Yu Dong was even more cautious. The two old people smiled at her and glanced at the fruits on the table.
Yu Dong immediately said: "Auntie, I'll cut you an apple."
"No, no! Please just sit there." From the moment Yu Dong entered, mother Xia never took her eyes off her. So far, she was satisfied. This girl isn't arrogant and even knew how to cut apples.
"An An how old are you?" Father Xia thought she looked a bit young, so he asked.
"22."
"22?" Mother Xia and father Xia looked at each other. "Then you just recently graduated."
"Yes!" Yu Dong nodded.
"Didn't you fall in love with Xia Feng while you were in university?" Mother Xia was shocked.
Father Xia's face was also bad, and he said: "That stinky boy!"
Yu Dong was puzzled as she looked at them. She didn't know why the harmonious atmosphere suddenly turned solemn.
"Why are you scolding your son?" Mother Xia asked father Xia angrily.
"He's 28 years old, 6 years older than her. How can he lay hands on a girl who just started university!" Father Xia growled.
(T/N: since the couple is pretending Yu Dong is An An who he had dated for around 3/4 years, the parents think they started dating when Yu Dong just entered university)
"What do you mean lay hands, they're in love!"
"No, it's just hooliganism!"
Yu Dong couldn't help but laugh. But after thinking about it, she shouldn't leave things so complicated. So she spoke and defended Xia Feng, "Uncle, auntie, it wasn't Xia Feng's fault, it was actually me who pursued him!"
"Eh?" The older couple couldn't help but look at Yu Dong in disbelief.
"When I was a freshman I fainted due to heatstroke. Xia Feng brought me to the hospital without leaving his name. Afterwards, I asked a lot of people and inquired about him. I originally just wanted to have a meal with him as a thanks, but when I saw him I…I….fell in love with him at first sight." Yu Dong bowed her head as if she was terribly embarrassed.
Women liked this kind of romantic story. As mother Xia listened to her story, her eyes brightened and she smiled. She felt this girl had a good eye to have picked her son, making her even more satisfied.
"No wonder he didn’t bring you home, he must have figured his dad would beat him up." Mother Xia laughed.
"Hey!" Father Xia snorted.
"But you just graduated, you shouldn't have thought about getting married so early!" Mother Xia said with pity. "If I had known you were so young, I wouldn't have asked Xia Feng for this…"
"Auntie I'm not too young, I'm already past the legal age." Yu Dong suddenly became shy. "And my dream was to marry Xia Feng after graduation."
The old couple glanced at each other, and the look between them conveyed their satisfaction towards this girl marrying their silly son.
"Auntie you have to recuperate properly, Xia Feng said when you're ready, we can hold the wedding ceremony!"
"Auntie understands, but even if I don't wake up tomorrow, I won't have any regrets," Mother Xia lamented.
Father Xia frowned, obviously very worried.
Yu Dong felt mother Xia was somewhat pessimistic. Before such a complex operation, the patient should be in the right mindset. So Yu Dong thought a little and then said: "You'll definitely be fine, I need you to help us with our future children!"
"Children? Are you pregnant?" Mother Xia was excited.
"Not yet!" Yu Dong shyly said. "But it's only a matter of time!"
"Good, good, good!" Mother Xia happily said in succession. "I'll help you with your children!"
Father Xia also had a happy face.
Xia Feng who came back with the flowers after running into some colleagues and chatting for a bit felt the atmosphere in the room was very different from before.
"What children?" Xia Feng asked.
"Of course my grandchildren!" Mother Xia had now adopted Yu Dong as her daughter, and her son was unceremoniously pushed to one side.
What the? Xia Feng glanced at Yu Dong, who acted virtuously in front of his mother and immediately muttered in his heart; Did this girl replace me and became the new Xia child!?
"And Yu Dong told me her nickname isn't An An and she doesn't want to be called this." Mother Xia became angry. "Peh! What's wrong with Dong, it's such a nice name. You're being childish."
Yu Dong listened with an expression of being wronged while nodding continuously.
Xia Feng was stunned. He had only been out of the room for a few minutes, what exactly did you say to my mother!?
"What are you staring at? How can such a big man stare at his wife like that!" When father Xia saw Xia Feng looking at Yu Dong with a dark expression, he was so angry that he added: "You! Come with me!"
Xia Feng who was wrongly scolded was stunned, but he nevertheless followed his father out to the corridor.
In the room, Yu Dong was worried as she looked at their retreating backs. Mother Xia comforted her with an expression full of affection.
"You, What did I end up teaching you as a kid for you to lay your hands on such a young girl?"
Father Xia still brooded over the fact that his son became an old cow who ate tender grass.
"I…"
"You what! For the sake of Yu Dong who actively pursued you, I won't hunt you down." Father Xia continued with a serious face, "But you have to be kind, you know! Just because someone else took the initiative doesn't mean you don't cherish the person."
"Oh…" Xia Feng suddenly learned a new information, dad say that again?
"What's with that look on your face?! I'll tell you now, if I find out later you're not treating your wife well, I'll break your leg!"
"Dad you're a little too loud, people can hear!" Xia Feng was suddenly embarrassed as he noticed the people around them.
"Let them listen, I said what I said, let them be witnesses!" Father Xia snarled.
"Yes, yes, I'll listen to you!" Yu Dong, what the hell did you say to my parents? How did they both suddenly turned on me in less than 10 minutes?
After talking for a while, Xia Feng worried his mother was getting tired, so he intended to take Yu Dong and leave.
Mother Xia, although happy, was after all still in poor health, so she was indeed tired.
"Auntie just rest, I'll come back on the day you're undergoing surgery!"
"Good!" Mother Xia smiled and waved her off.
When the two of them left the hospital, Xia Feng asked: "What did you say to my parents? They like you so much!"
"What do you mean 'what did I say', this girl is someone people can't help but love!" Yu Dong said with pride.
"Alright, alright, you're the best. My dad said that if I dare bully you, he'll break my leg." Xia Feng said, depressed.
"Oh my, uncle is so cute!" Yu Dong said with glee. "If you make me unhappy in the future, I'll go to him and complain!"
"And what's this about children?" Xia Feng was worried about this.
"This, ah…" Yu Dong started to explain. "I saw auntie wasn't optimistic about her operation, so I thought the idea of us having children and making them grandparents would get her to wish for a longer life."
Xia Feng listened and thinking of his mother's illness, he became worried. "I hope nothing wrong happens."
"Relax, auntie is such a good person, the operation will definitely go smoothly." Yu Dong knew Xia Feng cared about his mother and couldn't help being wracked with worry. No wonder Xia Feng was determined to marry no matter what, indulging mother Xia's flights of fancy.
"I'll listen to you." Xia Feng laughed. "But now my mother is looking forward to her grandchild."
"Then let them be born!" Yu Dong didn't particularly care.
Xia Feng was stunned as he turned to look at Yu Dong, who was bathed in sunlight. He didn't know what to say.
On the other side of the hospital ward, mother Xia was also talking to father Xia.
"I'm so relieved. I used to worry that Xia Feng was too dull, it was partly my fault as I raised him to be such a gentleman towards women. Gentlemen are popular with women, but it's also easy for them to be treated like a spare tire, ah." Mother Xia lamented. "Yu Dong is good, and complements Xia Feng so nicely!"
"Yeah!" Father Xia echoed. "So you have to take care of your body well and wait for your grandchild."
"Yes, I have to meet my grandchild!" When her grandchild was mentioned, mother Xia brightened.
"That kid is such a lucky dog!" Father Xia was glad.
"Who's the dog?" Mother Xia asked with narrowed eyes.
"I am, I am! I was just trying to give the kid some face!"
"Who are you giving face to?"
"You, you!"
......
Xia Feng took Yu Dong home, then turned around and went back to the hospital. Although his mother was sick and the hospital gave him time off, there were still some things he needed to deal with himself.
Back at the hospital, Xia Feng just stopped the car when his phone suddenly rang.
He frowned when he saw the unlisted number was from the United States. He thought about it for a moment, then connected the call.
"Xia Feng!" A gentle female voice came from the phone.
"You're in the States?" Xia Feng stilled, then asked.
"Yeah, I'm here. The house I rented online is pretty good, and there's even a swimming pool downstairs," The girl happily talked to Xia Feng as if they still had a relationship.
"That's good!"
"Xia Feng…are you still angry with me?" The girl's voice turned timid, so much so that people couldn't help but felt a little pity.
"No!"
"I know you're mad at me Xia Feng, you know I like you, I just don't want to get married so early." The girl paused, then continued: "Is auntie's body still okay?"
"Very good!"
"That's good! Aunt's surgery is sure to succeed. Xia Feng, I know I'm capricious, and you can be angry at me, but please promise me you won't be angry for too long."
"An An…" Xia Feng closed his eyes as if he had just made a great decision, then said, "Do you remember what I said to you before?"
"Which sentence?"
"The day I proposed to you…" Xia Feng reminded her.
"Xia Feng…you…you're scaring me…" An An became a little panicky.
"I know you remember." Xia Feng then said clearly, "An An we broke up!"
"Xia Feng, Xia Feng, I knew you were still angry!"
"I'm serious!"
"How can you do this! Just because I didn't agree to marry you right away you're going to break up with me? Aren’t we supposed to negotiate with each other with something like this? You just can't unilaterally decide this, not to mention you knew I planned to study in the States, the tickets were already bought. Xia Feng, you can't do this to me…"
"An An, I…" Xia Feng was about to say that he was married.
But An An was already crying over him and said: "You're just angry Xia Feng. Let's calm down first, then we'll talk again."
Xia Feng looked blankly at the end of the call, and finally showed a bitter smile.
Anyway, she's currently abroad - maybe she would cool down once she returns!
***
I can't blame An An, she already had plans to study after all. Xia Feng kinda just gave her an ultimatum out of the blue. But I guess this was a situation where she had to choose between her career and love. She wants to keep both, but it wasn't possible. Or maybe she didn't love Xia Feng enough to delay her study plans a little and marry him? I don't know haha.
And Xia Feng loved his mom way more than he loved An An. Heck, did he even love An An?
Thanks for the chapter! If AA really loved him & they had an honest relationship, she wouldn't have already had her bags packed & ready to go without a word when he sprung that ultimatum on her.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of selfishness & some messed up relationship. & now she acts all girly, "oh you're just angry, I'll pout & you'll forgive me". This attitude from too many women give me hives...
Damn... why isn't there a like button on here..
DeleteSame here. Agree to the MAX. An An is just selfish. Study, ticket and everything can be pushed out a bit as well.
DeleteGod, I'd hate to know what kind of messy relationship you are in. I can't imagine why you think it is appropriate to just spring an ultimatum of "get married or get lost" on your partner, or how in the world it is selfish not to agree to such an ultimatum.
DeleteYou don't own people. Just because you gave an ultimatum, does mean that the other party need to somehow not have her bags pack and ready to go. What the fuck does that even mean? Is she supposed to never pack her bags to travel just in case he gives an ultimatum? How does that have anything to do with love and an honest relationship? Did you just come up with some bullshit to blame this on An An?
The idea that such an ultimatum is in any way acceptable is so disgusting that I'd think you probably never had a good relationship. You don't threaten to end your relationship to force your partner to do something. The fact that the other party is willing to be understanding, and actually ask for your forgiveness (despite the fact that YOU are COMPLETELY in the wrong here) so much above you that you might as well be a half baked potato.
Answering Anonymous, I actually think he had already planned marrying An An and made it clear to her even before proposing - the house and all, you know. But even if he didn't, the fact that they ended show that they were in different places in life. One wanted to marry and settle, the other wanted to travel and study - so an ultimatum isn't unfair nor crazy, it's actually the best move for both.
DeleteWell said anonymous, I hate how this women judge on An An just because she isn’t ready for marry. They should just be quite,
DeleteIn my opinion ML is wrong, he may be gentlemen and nice but he is wrong at marry. Forced her to marry him for mom is show how selfish he is. He may be good son for mom but bad boyfriend for An An. I hope An An forget him and moved on.
Honestly, An An should know of why ML is being like that yet she still continued, it's not like she can't postpone it, this should be obvious but the will to live is one of the deciding factors when it comes to dangerous surgery/situation, if she doesn't want to get married just because she's not ready etc. or because of her pursuit of studies then it's good that they separate because this shows that they aren't meant to be. Don't tell me she didn't think of the what if scenario that ML's mother died, does she think it's possible for them to still be together or be like before? if she didn't then well, I don't need to say anymore and if she did then well, still the same. We can just compare the scale of life and relationship to her reason for not agreeing and going ahead with her own plans, don't tell me that this is bad, relationship needs both individual to be considerate and give way for each other, if they can't then well, good luck.
DeleteThank you so much. You wrote about what I was thinking perfectly. This is not only the main leads willful way of getting her to marry him, this is about his mother. They could have gotten married and then after the surgery, she could have gone on to study. This would have been possible because the ml family know that it was a sudden marriage proposal and judging from how the mother acted she would have been more than happy if the girl was still able to pursue what she wanted even after the marriage. They themselves know it was unfair of them to make the ml and his ex get married just for the mother.
DeleteI agree with Unknown.
DeleteI feel like he was a little harsh with the ultimatum, but I feel like if they were in a healthy relationship after 3-4 years, An An should've been able to maybe get married or at least talked out an engagement if they wanted to go all the way, especially since her partner obviously cares a lot about his mom's condition. It's like supporting your partner's hobbies and whatnot.
DeleteI think something everyone is forgetting is that you can have a career after you marry. It's not like she can't do anything after getting a certificate, but she just packed her bags and left. She could've gotten the certificate or visited the mom for like one day to announce an engagement or something before just leaving. Like so what if your married? You can't keep a career or continue studying aboard? It doesn't always have to be a choice unless your partner is strictly against it, but I don't think this ML is against it.
People keep going on and on about what An An should have expected. The ML should have been understanding as well. Yes his mother is important to him but obviously An An wasn't if he was going to ask her to give up what was important to her. He not only gave her an ultimatum "marry or break up" he wanted her to give up on her studies so that his mom could have a good surgery. He didn't come up with other options he didn't try to compromise he just tried to force her to follow his plan. That's not love or healthy. Honestly she's an angel for forgiving him. But he just went on to lie to his parents and abandon the woman he supposedly cares for. He's completely in the wrong here. He knew studying was important to An An and he simply wanted her to give everything up. Who knows what else he would have demanded of her if she gave in.
DeleteImo, both of them were in the wrong. If their relationship was healthier, ML should not have give her an ultimatum. I get that he had been planning this, but it's not something you should force on your partner. An An should have tried to work things out if she really did treasure the relationship. Like a previous commenter said, they could have gotten engaged/married prior to her leaving or something. In the end, they were both in the wrong. Also, we don't have all the information on their relationship. Maybe there are some unspoken things that we will never know.
DeleteThank you so much for the chapter...can't wait to see what happen in the next chapter.
ReplyDeleteLove the father! Not many would think about how age work into dating, what with an older man dating a younger girl who only just graduated, "who" probably doesn't have that much experience in the outside world.
ReplyDeleteThe parents are so cute!
thanks!
ReplyDeletethis is one of my favourite chaters of the entire series, wahaha! her getting along with her in-laws is great!
I don't know what to say about An An. Sure, I understand where Xia Feng is coming from, but if she already had her career set and had the tickets then I cannot blame her heavily. That being said I do think they should have married or just explained to Mother Xia.
ReplyDeleteTherefore, I'm kind of blaming both for lack of communication, Xia Feng shouldn't have given that ultimatum though.
I agree. That ultimatum was in no way acceptable. Furthermore, she definitely shouldn't have just married. If she doesn't want to marry, she shouldn't. That is a basic of any relationship.
DeleteBut I also feel like if one partner cares a lot about the marriage and the other doesn't, maybe they should either talk it out or break up. I feel like they both did wrong in this case. She packed her bags and just left. He dropped an ultimatum. I feel like it might've just been a case of they weren't right for each other cause obviously she really cared about her career, and he really cared about getting married. No one wanted to compromise so it might have just not been for them. It definitely wasn't just straight up An An's fault. I think it was more of a they have different priorities that clashed too heavily.
DeleteLol! Won over the in-law in minutes.
ReplyDeleteAn An is a selfish brat as expected. Ditched him so quickly and just wanting him to be strung along.
Can't she marryand then go abroad? Lol
ReplyDeleteIf AA really liked XF she would have never flown to US so fast in this messed up situation. She did not have to submit to an ultimatum, it's her right not to marry, but she also did not have to ignore everything and leave, it's his right wanting to marry plus his mom is sick & might die. It's obvious she's selfish, inconsiderate, self-centered. Tickets can be delayed...but since she chose she should bear the effect. I'm not a fan of this type of capricious female characters, so glad she's not the lead.
ReplyDeleteAre you drunk? How in the world is she in anyway selfish, inconsiderate, and self-centered?
DeleteI don't understand why you think this girl, who suddenly had her boyfriend threaten to break up if they don't marry, is in anyway obligated to completely change her already set plans, cancel her ticket, and delay her future.
It's his right to want, it's not his right to demand that someone change her future just to cater to his wants. He has NO RIGHT to demand that she change her ticket and stay. He has NO RIGHT to demand that she delay her plans. He has NO RIGHT to demand that she don't fly to the US despite already bought tickets, just to comfort him.
Seriously, I can't even imagine how you'd consider AA to be selfish in this situation. XF literally, despite knowing that AA has tickets to the US, demanded that she cancel her trip, ignore her future plans, and marry him on the spot. She would never have flown to the US so fast? How is that her fault. She left so fast because that was when her ticket was set to leave. She left so fast obviously meant that he sprung this ultimatum on him. If he isn't selfish, inconsiderate, and self-centered, I don't know what is.
respondiendo al anónimo, tienes razón en parte, pero tomando en cuenta que lo del ultimátum no es correcto, pero analiza un poco, si ella no quería casarse solo tenia que hablar con el con claridad, ademas podía casarse y después irse a estudiar, pero ella lo que quería era libertad completa, para no dar cuenta de lo que ella quiera hacer, ademas si el le dio el ultimátum ella debió darse cuenta de que habían terminado, pero ella llamo como si nada había pasado, creyendo que si habla lindo y hace un pucherito todo esta arreglado.
DeleteAdemás si lees bien ella tenia todo planeado para irse sin hablar o planear con el sin casarse pero actua de manera arbitraria, ahora ella no puede creer que no hizo nada y volver, ese tipo de actitud egoísta solo se agrabaria en el futuro y el se convertiría en un trapo, y sobre lo del boleto se puedo pagar para aplazar no es gran problema ella no quiso arreglar nada con el ni hablar con el, tienes razón el fue irrazonable al darle el ultimatum, pero ella sabia que es estaba angustiado por su madre que gravemente enferma, pero deberdad la queria y ademas ellos tenian un tiempo juntos pero parece que ella no se intereson por la vida de su pareja, por que duro tanto tiempo sin conocer a los padre o por lo menos saber de ellos, a eso se le llama de sinteres, hay errores en ambas parte pero mas en la parte de ella, ya que ella tenia todo planeados para dejarlo plantado, sabes porque? porque alquilar un casa desde otro país y vivir en ella y comparar el voleto mas si es para estudiar eso lleva tiempo organizarlo prácticamente de medio año a 1 si lo quieres hacer bien, lo digo porque mi hermano tuvo que hacer lo mismo, así que creo que aunque el estuvo mal ella planeo desde el principio dejarlo ignorando todo.
Creo que si uno esta en una relación trataría de pensar y buscar maneras para ayudarse o complementarse, y si mi pareja estuviera en esa situación por lo menos trataría de de buscar un equilibrio no dejarlo plantado y después llamar como si nada y tratar lo que sucedió como si nada, eso no tiene lógica, en vista creo que ella fue demasiado impulsiva y desapegada emocionalmente. otra cosa ella podría por lo menos tratar un poco sus estudios por lo menos 1 año estaría bien no es como si el la tuviera encerrando. ese es el análisis que hice de las dos partes.
Hehe, Anonymous yeah, it is AA choice to accept his propose or not. But, if we think from another point what we see?
DeleteHe gives her ultimatum, but instead of telling him 'Although I love you, but I have my own plans so we shall break up' what she did? Ohh, she just run away from him, calling after some time and telling not to be angry. She wants to have both the love and keep her interests, but is it okay?
The answer is No.
By your logic He should wait until she will achieve her aims? She is wasting his time, beig disrespectful (Not Giving Clear Answer: Yes or No), irreponsible (flee away and call after like a child: You shall not be angry ahahaha) and self-centered (wants to Book Him and chase after Her Aims).
So her actions it is not what the adult does, but what the spoilt child does. That's all.
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DeleteAgree with Tiger8125
DeleteI also agree with Tiger8125. Except, I don't think it's completely An An's fault, but she should've definitely at least given an answer or something. It's like proposing to someone or confessing to them, but they don't respond, leave to another country, and then call you after some time has passed and act like nothing happened.
DeleteI agree that he has no right to control what she does, but the whole point of an relationship is compromise. If they can't compromise, then the relationship is doomed. On the flip side, does he always have to just wait until she's ready? Oh my mother is in a bad condition. We've been dating for a long time. Can you get married? No? Okay, I'll just wait until whenever you are ready. It's fun in novels having a devoted ML who'll always wait, but the ML is also a person with his own selfish desires. Why does he always have to wait just cause she isn't ready? Also, he may not have the right to control her, but he has the right to end a relationship. It only takes one side to end a relationship. He's not obligated to stay with her just because she doesn't want to break up. Think about it as a guy you might not like or have become disheartened with so you want to break the relationship; instead, he just goes naw, your just angry. Imma assume we still good no matter what I do or what you say. It wasn't straight up An An's fault maybe, but she definitely had a hand in their break up and so did he. They both just couldn't meet in the middle so they ended up breaking up. Getting together for life isn't just love sometimes, but the ability to deal with each other and also have similar priorities. They obviously didn't have the same ones.
I don't understand, isn't An An's concern sensible?
ReplyDeleteThey are two people who want two completely different things. She wants more time, which is actually more reasonable than getting married last minute to please someone who isn't even a part of their relationship.
Then again, I don't think Xia Feng is wrong either. In fact, no one is wrong here. Maybe Xia Feng's mother for asking for such a thing, but then again no one's clear-headed when they face the threat of death.
It's unfortunate but they'll just have to deal with it, and um. He better tell An An he's married if she's going to keep thinking they're in a relationship!? Isn't that mean? ;-; *panics*
This is just my opinion. Should this offend anyone, I apologize in advance.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I can gather from the story so far, Xia Feng has always intended to propose marriage to An An and not just because of his mother's surgery (i.e. he bought a house in preparation for married life). He seems to be a guy who functions on logic. So, having been in a relationship for almost four years, I don't think that he's wrong in thinking that his relationship with An An will logically move towards marriage. However, I cannot condone his giving an ultimatum since it shows that he's actually not that emotionally invested in the relationship.
As regards An An, based on context clues, she just sprung the idea of studying abroad to Xia Feng without even preparing the guy for the possibility of having a long-distance relationship. Further, when given the ultimatum, instead of facing the issue head-on, she chose to run away, wait a few days before calling, and talk to Xia Feng as if the incident was something inconsequential. This is actually what makes her seem selfish and immature.
That's why I think that a relationship between someone with low EQ like Xia Feng and a self-centered career woman like An An is actually a recipe for disaster.
Xia Feng would always bottle up his concerns until he explodes (i.e. the sudden ultimatum of marriage or break-up) while An An will always prioritize her own goals believing that others will also prioritize her wants.
Should they have continued with things as they are, what they'd have is not a relationship but a waiting game between two people who, despite being highly intelligent, cannot understand what the actual problem is. So, it's a good thing for them to separate ways rather than end up being bitter towards each other in the same way.
This is why, although I dislike Xia Feng's act of forcing An An's hand, I dislike what An An did in response more.
I agree with you
DeleteI think Xia Feng is also in the wrong here. I understand that he is filial son and he just wants his mother to be happy. However, he should've also considered the feelings of An An. She is a woman with a career. Of course, love should not hinder one's aspirations. I also think that they don't love each other enough?? I believe that understanding your partner comes with love. If you both don't have it, then is it truly love?
ReplyDeleteThere is a thing called compromise people. Instead of arguing in the comments, both AA and XF should have talked to each other and tried to have compromised. Communication is vital in any relationship and they haven't done that. Relationships such as the one AA and XF have call for compromising and trying to understand one another. While some of you may disagree, there is no need to bash on either character as many of you are doing in the comments.
ReplyDeleteThe last time I was here the comment section wasn't this lively.
ReplyDeleteIf we read further we'll find out that XF had proposed to An An more than once before but he was rejected. He's probably fed up and gave that ultimatum. Anyway when you readers reach that chapter I'll let you decide who's really in the wrong here.
Just started this today. I have to say that there is something wrong going on. If they had been together for 3 to 4 years and 6 months ago he was planning to marry her with hating the house and everything. Then with the way he is with his parents he would have wanted to have An An meet his parents. So I have to assume that An An was the one who never did so that makes me thank that she never real thought of them being in unnatural relationship. Because you don't just meet the parents when you're ready to get married you meet the parents when you're at least serious enough that marriage is down the road if it's not here yet. For him married was there now for her it sounds like she's when you listen to her talk she saying I'm just not ready yet but I do plan to marry you in the future which means that since marriage is in the future she would want to meet her in-laws since that has never happened in the three to four years that they've been together I don't think she was taking this relationship serious at all so no matter who's the wrong about that whole ultimatum deal he shouldn't have done it but he did, this relationship was doomed to begin with he was wrong to make the ultimatum she was wrong to try and string them along even with it and who knows maybe he needed to do that to know whether or not this was going anywhere. Since he can't get a straight answer out of her he tricked her into it whether or not he knows he did that.
ReplyDeleteThis story really reminds me of a relationship.
ReplyDeleteThe guy has a stable private job with a very high salary and relaxed schedule (somewhat like a professor at college), but people in the country don't respect private jobs. His girlfriend was preparing for exams for civil service the past three years, but she was from a different caste (higher) and her father was a ex-army and a currently in civil service. None of their parents knew about their relationship, so the Guy's mother had almost finalised his marriage with another girl, but then the girlfriend called his mother and told her all about their relationship. After knowing the guy's mother told him to marry the girlfriend, as being in a relationship is frowned upon in my country. When the girlfriend's father knew about it, he first tried to break them up by telling/threatning the guy that they both are from different caste, his job is looked upon...yada yada. But after a lot of persuasion from his daughter he agreed that they could marry only after she passes the exam. Now remember, the test is one of the most difficult to pass, and she has already failed twice. But they both agreed and the guy told his mother (who also agreed, atleast it seemed like). However, one evening the guy's mother(who also suffers from RA) got into a road accident, and then emotionally blackmailed him by saying that she doesn't have many years to live and just wants him to see him happily married. The guy asks his girlfriend again (he didn't tell her the whole situation about his mother), and obviously she refused. He then agrees to marry the girl that his mother had previously matchmaked.
Again, no one is wrong in the both scenarios, but it all depends on what you prioritise the most. The guy's priority (and the ML's too) was his mother's happiness, An An's priority was her career. But in taking care of their priorities, they both had to sacrifics something i.e their relationship.
I don't blame An An for prioritising her career, but still clinging on to the relationship despite knowing how serious he was about the condition is what irks me.
I agree with your comment. A relationship must have compromise though and I wonder why they weren't able to smooth things out before. I'm pretty sure he didn't tell her about the marriage thing just the day before the date cuz that'll be stupid and impossible. You need to schedule first plus you have to ready the papers which will probably run for a week or 2. Enough for them to talk about their plans and what they are going to do about it ����
ReplyDeleteXF isn't in wrong tbh as in Asian Nations most people fo get married before reaching 30. & Whats the point of Relationship if for not getting married? That too when you've been in relationship for 4 years. Giving ultimatum is wrong but then People do weird things when they & their loved ones are on verge of death.
ReplyDeleteSecondly your BF's mother is going to have risky surgery & may as well end up dying & you ran away to US.
Sorry to all of the people that have made comments saying that he sprung the choice on her... He probably has mentioned this long ago. Y'all believe miss AnAn in one go?? The way she didn't listen at all to what he had to say and dismissed him ending their relationship as him being 'angry' is so demeaning.... Y'all need help for automatically believing her.
ReplyDeleteIf she really plans to marry him in the future, I don't understand why she can't register first and then have the whole wedding ceremony after she is on holiday. At least she will give the mother-in-law a piece of mind and Xia Feng should understand that. But no, she just pack her bag and assumed he will forgive her and not take him seriously...
ReplyDeleteHey! Thanks for the hard work!
ReplyDeleteAnd imo, both of them just had different priorities and it's just right that they broke up. I don't think it's right for XF to give an ultimatum to AA. If he loves you, he would support you no matter what. Which goes both ways, AA doesn't really love him. But at this point, what XF did marrying another person immediately blindsided AA which goes to show he didn't really love AA. I mean what kind of guy/gal would do that if they really loved another? Anywho... since it's those circumstances that led to the ml to the fl then let's get on with the story. 🙂
I think they're both not at fault. And both parties should not have to put the other before their top priorities. They just happened to not be as deeply in love and had things they considered more important than their partner. Perhaps they like or even love each other, but they can still find someone else who they might fall in love with harder. In conclusion, the two are fond of each other, but simply weren't so fond as to put their relationship before their top priorities.
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