RDCAB 49

Rebirth on the Door to the Civil Affairs Bureau
Chapter 49 The Grays of Life





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Xia Feng and Shao Yifan surprisingly had no scheduled surgeries today. So when they finished their rounds, they managed to have dinner in the cafeteria on time for once. When An An entered the canteen, she filled a tray with food, then approached the two figures sitting on a table by the window.

Shao Yifan had been busy drinking soup when he noticed An An sitting down across from Xia Feng, causing him to immediately spray out a mouthful of soup.

"Why are you so disgusting." An An passed him some napkins.

Shao Yifan glanced at Xia Feng as he coughed. Seeing that Xia Feng wasn't overtly shocked by An An's arrival, he simply bowed his head and focused on his food, not taking the initiative to say hello.

Feeling that the atmosphere was getting awkward, Shao Yifan tried to find a topic to talk about: "Cough, right, An An, I remember that Dr. Lane is staying here for a month? Are you going back to America afterward, or are you staying?"

Dr.Lane was An An's mentor in America. City Hospital recently invited Dr. Lane to come and teach, so An An followed him here as his student.

"I'm going back to America first, after all, I still have two months before I finish my studies." While saying this, An An sneaked a peek at Xia Feng.

"What about after you graduate? Are you going back to your children's hospital, or are you going to work here at City Hospital?" Shao Yifan asked.

"I was invited by both hospitals, but I'm still undecided." An An saw still glancing at Xia Feng.

Xia Feng finished his food, put down his chopsticks, and took a napkin to wipe his mouth. Looking towards An An, he asked her: "An An, did you look for Yu Dong yesterday?"

Shao Yifan froze, his eyes turning to Xia Feng.

When An An passed the lipsticks to Yu Dong, she knew that Xia Feng would definitely find out. It seems that she troubled Yu Dong yesterday. An An felt smug at this, but her face remained neutral as she replied: "Yes, I was really embarrassed that I took the lipstick you bought for Yu Dong, so I brought it back with me from America. I happened to meet her yesterday in the pediatrics ward, so I took the chance and gave them back to her."

"Thank you." Xia Feng said.

"You're welcome!"

"But our relationship's now a little awkward, so if there's anything else you think of in the future, you don't need to bother sending it back." Xia Feng said with a smile.

An An's expression stiffened when she heard this, looking at Xia Feng incredulously.

Shao Yifan was also surprised by Xia Feng's attitude. This gentleman rarely spoke to women so directly, let alone towards An An.

"How can I do that? Those lipsticks were expensive." An An said.

"It doesn't matter, it's not like my salary's low, I can comfortably shower Yu Dong with gifts." After Xia Feng said this, he stood up, "I'm done eating, so I'll go ahead first."

Without waiting for a reply, Xia Feng walked out of the canteen.

Shao Yifan glanced towards An An, only to find her looking sullen, the chopsticks on her hand broken.

"I'm done too. You take your time and eat slowly." Shao Yifan resolutely escaped, leaving An An to smack her broken chopsticks down in the table.



Shao Yifan managed to catch up to Xia Feng and was shocked as he asked: "What happened yesterday?"

Xia Feng pushed their office door open and replied: "Try to gossip less."

"No, no, you have to tell me, that seriously scared me. You actually didn't give someone face and it's An An, and more importantly, you did it in front of me." Shao Yifan said.

"So you're not going to be smart and instead you're putting yourself in the middle of things?" Xia Feng tilted his head, looking at Shao Yifan with a raised eyebrow.

"I..." Shao Yifan pointed to himself and exclaimed "It's not my fault things ended up awkward! Who decided to be completely different from his usual personality and start something?"

"I know you're good friends with An An, but we're over. The one I like is Yu Dong. An An making trouble again won't help anyone." Xia Feng said, "I thought about it seriously last night, and I figured I should just make things clear as soon as possible."

"..." Shao Yifan was dumbfounded.

"If you really want to help, you should try to persuade her to stop." Xia Feng said as he picked up his stethoscope. "And do you really believe that she likes me that much?"

"Doesn't she?" Shao Yifan countered.

"She's just not comfortable with the fact that I gave up on her first." After Xia Feng said this, he patted Shao Yifan on the shoulder then went out. In the end, when you have something to compare it too, it's easy to clearly see just how much a person likes you.

Shao Yifan stood in the empty office for a while before swearing: "Those three farts, why do I try to help those goddam thankless people, I should just shut my mouth."

Yu Dong naturally didn't know that Xia Feng said these words to An An, and she was much too busy to care.

The dubbing work pushed aside slowly started. Coupled with Ren Xinxin's hospitalization, Yu Dong and Xiang Xiaoyue were both working overtime. Added with the fact that they visited Xinxin every day, and the fact that Yu Dong also had to prepare for her nightly live broadcasts, they were both stretched thin these days.

In actual fact, last year's profits from Xiaoyue Studios was pretty good. Xiaoyue was also generous, giving her two girlfriends bountiful salaries. Yu Dong could actually just quit her radio station job and work with Xiaoyue full-time, in face Xiaoyue mentioned this several times, but Yu Dong always refused.

Because she likes the job. Through the traveling sound waves, Yu Dong knew her voice would accompany many lonely people through the night.



"Hello everyone, this is FM9666. You're now listening to Midnight Phantom after the advertisement, this is DJ Fish Jelly." Yu Dong smiled as she talked because while the listeners might not see it, she knew they could hear it in her voice. "It's time to open our hotline again, let's answer out first call."

After a beep, the phone connected.

"Hello, this is Fish Jelly." Yu Dong said with a smile.

"Hello Fish, I'm Ms. Beautiful." A soft female voice could be heard from the other end of the phone. It sounded very pleasing, and all the listeners could feel her gentleness towards the host.

"So what story does this Ms. Beautiful want to share with us tonight?" Fish Jelly asked.

"I..." The tender voice, after much hesitation, timidly asked: "Can you promise not to look down on me if I say?"

"Er.." Fish Jelly blinked doubtfully. Thinking that it shouldn't be too bad, Fish Jelly continued, "Do you know those confession booths in Christian churches? You can think of me as your priest, tell me your story tonight and maybe your heart will feel lighter.

"Like in those American blockbusters?" Ms. Beautiful asked.

"Yes."

Ms. Beautiful finally started to narrate her story.

"Actually...I'm...maybe I should just be called a mistress or a second wife."

Fish Jelly froze at her words. She thought of a lot of possibilities, but never in her wildest dreams did she consider this scenario. As a woman, Fish Jelly hated mistresses, but she didn't interrupt Ms. Beautiful's narrative.

"I met my lover's wife when I was out shopping. At that time, I was holding her husband's card and was buying clothes. She didn't know me but was very friendly. I saw a beautiful custom dress in the shop, but because my membership level wasn't high enough, the clerk refused to sell the dress to me. She saw this and offered to let me borrow her membership card. I was a little embarrassed, but she was kind and smiled at me, saying that I was beautiful and that the dress would look good on me."

Perhaps because the hardest thing to say was already said, Ms. Beautiful continued to talk more confidently: "I knew about her the day I became his mistress. I knew she existed, but I never felt guilty because I didn't want to take her place. I was content to be a mistress nobody knew about."

"Because of this, my lover is also satisfied and was very generous. But after that day, I don't know why, I started to think about why I became a mistress in the first place."

"I'm educated, beautiful and young. I can find a good job and support myself, but I ended up becoming a mistress." Ms. Beauty lamented, "When I graduated from university, I got a job as a clerk with a salary of less than 3,000 yuan a month. People around me were living on a budget and I recall thinking about how much money I needed to buy a house. But the first time I met him, he directly gave me an apartment."

"For something people needed to work 30 years for, I just needed to nod and I have it." Ms. Beauty sighed, "So why don't I just take this job I thought."

"He gives me 100,000 yen a month and occasionally sends me expensive bags and cars. Maybe in two or three years, I'll be disliked, but I already have enough savings that most people can only dream of." Ms. Beauty continued, "By then, if I wanted to start a family, I could sell the house, go someplace no one knew me, find a man my age, fall in love, get married, and we would have a perfectly good life."

"Some people say that being a mistress in shameful and immoral. I agreed with them in the beginning, I was embarrassed to go out. It took a long time for me to get over it, to talk about a relationship that will never amount to anything. I won't destroy his family, his wife will never know and will remain happy."

"I'm already planning on leaving him when I get the chance..." After this, Ms. Beautiful trailed into silence.

Fish Jelly ignored the scolding and swearing scrolling through her computer. After a moment of hesitation, she asked: "Then why call?"

"Actually...I don't even know...maybe I just wanted someone to talk to." Ms. Beautiful added, "You don't have to comment, I'll just hang up."

"Did you ever have someone you really liked?" Fish Jelly asked.

"I..." Ms. Beautiful was silent for a while before she said: "I don't think I'll ever love anyone in the future. Having experienced something like this, I don't think I'll be able to like someone wholeheartedly. But, I think my lover likes me, and I think I like him too?"

"You called because you aren't happy." Yu Dong said, certain. "Because despite becoming rich, getting a car and house that ordinary people struggle for, you can never have their happiness. You feel lonely, empty because you don't have the love of someone."

"I can start looking for it now, I have the foundations." Ms. Beatiful said.

"When you really start looking for it someday, all of this will turn into pain and suffering." Fish Jelly said, "In the event that you don't find that someone, you'll be left with nothing but the pain."



Beep....



Ms.Beautiful didn't answer and directly hung up the phone. Fish Jelly didn't say anything either- her computer had nothing but swear words.

Tonight's phone call made Fish Jelly a little uncomfortable (which isn't too bad when you look at her radio history so far). There wasn't any law to convict her with, it was only a case of having different morals. Her monetary gains would probably impress young and immature listeners. Yu Dong felt an unprecedented distress and wanted to say something to remedy the situation, but she couldn't find the right words to say.

"I don't have the right to judge whether your actions are right or wrong. But I sympathize with you because you've already regarded yourself as some merchandise."

This phone conversation really did make Yu Dong somewhat uncomfortable. She thought that the big bosses in Taiwan wouldn't like the fact that she let such people finish their story on air.

Yu Dong couldn't figure out why some people would sell themselves for money and treat themselves like random items for sale. When you one day make enough money and desire to return to an ordinary quiet life, could they really feel at ease?



Coming out of the bathroom, Xia Feng noticed that Yu Dong was still sitting on the bed, dazed. Lifting the blanket, he gathered her into his arms and said: "Don't think about it anymore, go to sleep."

"I just can't figure it out. She said that when she earned enough money she would go to another city, find a suitable partner and live a happy life. Wouldn't that be kind of mocking most ordinary, diligent workers?"

"Her perspective of things has already changed, she's become pitiful." Xia Feng said, "Even if she finds someone she really likes in the future, when she has a family and children, her previous experiences will follow her and cause her to be paranoid. If money can actually bring happiness, the wouldn't be as depressing as it is."

"My heart's just a little uncomfortable." Yu Dong said, looking up.

Xia Feng smiled and bent down to kiss Yu Dong's rosy lips.

Yu Dong blinked.

"Is that better?" Xia Feng asked.

"A little bit." Yu Dong said.

Xia Feng turned and placed Yu Dong directly underneath him. Gently, he opened her mouth with his own and gradually depriving Yu Dong of oxygen. The atmosphere turned ambiguous as a layer of fog clouded Yu Dong's mind. She felt Xia Feng slowly slide a hand inside her pajamas, making her shy.

"Even better now?" Xia Feng bit Yu Dong's earlobe.

"You lustful wolf." Yu Dong complained.

"Ha ha..." Xia Feng's hands had already unbuttoned her pajamas under the blanket, and the two inched closer. This primitive act of affection is also the most passionate expression of the soul.

Perhaps in today's society, sex has become more and more open. But Yu Dong still feels that while it would bring joy in the surface, casual sex would never touch the soul.

It can be crude, and dirty, and obscene, but it can also be beautiful!






The author has something to say: Well this chapter has been sitting in my computer for a long time. I've met many people like this in life, but this crab doesn't know how to evaluate them. It can only be written here...






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I think the title is accurate

Comments

  1. Appropriate indeed. Then again, life is never just black or just white. (。•́︿•̀。)

    But I want to give a shout out to our main man, Xia Feng. (*•̀á´—•́*)Ùˆ ̑̑

    Thanks for the chapter, Xefielle! (*≧▽≦)

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  2. Thank,

    Also I'm not sure if the 'face' here should be 'fact that' or if it's just some Asian thing, it just felt a bit off to me:

    "she's just not comfortable with the face i gave up on her first"

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  3. Xia Feng finally cutting off loose ends.

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  4. Yu Dong is nicer than I am. It's one thing to not realize the guy is taken, and thus getting tricked into a relationship and not wanting to let go after finding out... but to know right at the beginning and do it anyway...

    It's not even that she was poor and desperate. She went to a good college, had a bright future ahead of her. Apparently she didn't even love the guy. It's just that he gave her a shortcut to a comfortable and luxurious life.

    That was it. That was all.

    She was selfish, and so is the guy she's dating. I guess they're perfect for each other.

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    1. Its interesting. Sometimes an easier life isn't a happier life, thats for sure. Most people are unhappier after winning the lottery than than they were before winning it, but at least they don't have to do something that compromises their beliefs.

      Its toxic, what she is doing, but if she left he would likely find someone else, and she feels it might as well be her. I'd imagine that because it wasn't neccesary, and because its not for love, she would end up regretting it

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  5. Xia Feng, a man of his word. Keep doing you boo, let An An clearly know where you stand.

    It's hard not to judge mistresses. I have no sympathy for them or for their cheating boyfriend, personal experience.

    Thanks for the chapter!

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  6. There are many kinds of reason a woman decided to be a mistress.

    One, like the girl above. It's because of money that easy to obtain.

    Two, because of love. Either their love started before or after the guy's marriage, circumstances 'forced' them like that. You can find story in many soap drama.

    Three, for the fun of it. She likes the secret, the satisfaction of being able to fool the wife, and the adrenaline of always being on edge.

    And many other reasons that are too deep to understand. Either 'forgivable' or not. Maybe we can't relate, and judge them. But every person have their own past that make them did what they did. We tend to be in the wronged party's side and curse the bad person. But the 'bad' person is just another villain whose story hasn't yet been told.

    So yeah, I've read and seen many stories like this with their own twist and progress that made me understand better other human's perspective. For example the case above. The girl was just minding her own pitiful life of being a clerk after graduated college when this guy popped out of nowhere and tempted her with so much money to be his mistress. And what is his reason doing that? (well, whatever it is, he's simply a bastard)

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    1. Your comment is interesting...it first seems rational and detached, but then your last paragraph shows you're just biased towards the mistress LOL.
      I believe it just comes down to this :
      The true reason a woman is a mistress is selfishness.

      Whatever she wants for herself (love, wealth, attention, sex, etc.) she will have it regardless of the cruelty to others. Same goes for cheaters. Funny thing is these people usually hope for selflessness and loyalty towards them.

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    2. I feel like this is one of those cases where you can't just excuse the mistress cause you don't know her story. I feel like people get so into empathizing that they forget that empathizing is just disreaguarding the victim. Like yes, the mistress probably had her own reasons for doing such a thing, but the wife literally did nothing and fell victim. A reason for doing something doesn't excuse the wrong doing. It just makes it sympasizable.

      For this reason, I agree that the guy was definitely a horrible person but so was the mistress since she knew that he had a wife and still did it. She was like I feel guilty but look at all the money I made. In the end, she just really wanted easy money but still had somewhat of a conscience that caused her to feel guilty.

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  7. for some reason this mistress reminds me of mercenaries who put their bodies on the line and kill people for money and because they're good at it and it pays well without really getting into the morality of it

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    1. indeed. that came to my mind as the narration continued. it is truly the grays of life. is the situation any different if it was legal prostitution or sugar girls? or is the difference that she knew he had a wife?
      likewise we put mercenaries who are in similar nature further away from us as it seems such a distant matter. but for matters such as this which can occur to anyone of us, it becomes hard not to curse the cheater and the mistress...I certainly dont want to have 1st hand or 2nd hand experience in this matter as it would be just to hard to be logical about it

      Delete
    2. I feel like this wasn't morally grey, but more like she was a sympathizable character. Like, if she was just trading a relationship for money and both sides were okay with it, then I'd just be like I don't agree, but it wouldn't really be like bashable, but she knew this dude was freaking married. It's just that she also felt so guilty and was such a fleshed out character of a girl who went to a good university but got tempted and swayed by the fact that the amount of money he can just throw away on her is probably more than she can make in her lifetime. It is indeed pretty tempting if you think of it from a business prospective. She just needs to spend maybe a few years or even just like a year with him to have enough money for the rest of her life, but she's obviously feeling some kind of guilt cause she needs to reassure herself like I'm not trying to steal the wife's position. I just want to be a mistress, and if it's not me, the guy will just find another person anyway.

      I feel like for most things as long as everyone involved is okay with it, then you can't really be like you all are wrong like what you guys are saying with mercenaries, but if like random innocent people who do not agree get pulled in. Like that wife? Like yeah the mistress is so understandable and in a gray area, but she literally has done nothing wrong that we know of and seems to be a nice person from the mistress' description just got cucked but everyone is all. like yeah, it's not black and white this situation, but she's definitely not freaking forced at gun point or had her family held hostage or something. She literally was just tempted by the money.

      Delete
  8. Mistress, huh?
    When they don't know that they are a mistress, I don't blame them, but when they do I blame them for not considering a lot of things especially the effect of their decision. Most importantly most of the blame should be put in the head of the married person, who still find someone else.

    If you are tired of your wife or husband then just separate, don't prolong your partner's sufferings!

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  9. In this era where being politically correct equates to having class, I truly feel for YD being so bothered after meeting someone with different set of values. It awkward judging people inside but not being able to say it outside because people's beliefs aren't always the same as ours.

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  10. I just love how we meet different people and read about different experiences, all in the same book. This novel is quite enriching.

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  11. Personally I don't really care much about gold diggers. As long as both are clear that the other person is just after the money and the other person is not a third party. Have fun, get your money, stay or separate.
    However being a mistress is another story.

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    1. Same, I agree. Like I don't agree with the ideals of a gold digger, but if all the parties involved are happy with the situation, then you do you. However, being a mistress is just selfish and inconsiderate of the person being kept in the dark.

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  12. It takes two to tango. It's obvious here that the man and the woman just have businesslike relationship. The man likes to play around and having a mistress is safer/cleaner than going to prostitutes. The woman needs money. If it's not her, he would have taken another woman so there is no use in cursing her, because the crux of the matters is on the man who is lusty.
    As long as there is enough demand, there will always be enough supplies to meet them.
    There are not love between them, just lust.
    So, just blaming the mistress is absurd.
    Btw it's actually a classic issue among rich family. Many ladies of rich clan are not even blind of this fact, they just open one eye and close the other.
    Of course there is always some exceptionable rich men, but yeah...just exception.

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  13. Xiafeng is right, An an is just uncomfortable because he moved on first. She is truly a self-centered type and treat him like a spare tire. His mom's worries was correct.
    The parent haven't seen her after 4 year together, while being in the same city and knowing her existence as his GF, that's too strange.
    It only showed that she didn't give him a high position in her priority list. Not having known the parent is giving her an easy way out if she suddenly met a better man out there.
    She didn't even care that he could be very sad and need her presence for comfort in case the surgery of his mom failed and she died. The odd of success was only 50:50, right?
    But she didn't even bother to delay her departure until the surgery is done.
    If he was in her future plan at all, no matter when it would be, then she would atleast ask to visit his mom once, she has a serious illness ok?
    How come a potential daughter in law didn't visit at all? That only explain one thing: XF and his family didn't hold much weight in her heart.
    Already bought ticket is ridiculous excuse.
    Just like XF said this time: it's not like his salary is low.
    He can afford buying the latest edition of branded bag for his wife's girlfriends, so buying An an a new ticket would have been an easy thing for him.
    And I don't believe that XF would forbid her to continue studying after married either.
    It is ok though if she really doesn't want to get married yet although she is nearing 3, but she knew he wants to get married, so she should just accept the result that they don't mean to be together.
    They simply have different goal in life.

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  14. Speaking of the legal wife from the story above... If she really is nice to the point that the mistress feels embarrassed, then she deserves better than that scum of a partner. She really needs out at this point.

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  15. Stories about mistresses and infidelity are one of the few reasons why I'm so afraid of commitment. I'm 25 but I've never been in a relationship. I've dated but never pass that x)
    Some says my standards is just too high but I think it's because I'm just afraid haha I keep on looking for their faults and end up not wanting to take things seriously with them. I definitely hope I can find someone who will make me feel safe to fall in love though, gotta find me a XF in real life ��

    ReplyDelete

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